Homophones - jeux de mots - hyper difficile!

As a native speaker, I don't have any problems understanding this sketch from a comedy duo called 'the Two Ronnies' (Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett). For me, it's simply hilarious. But if you are a learner of English, this is a really difficult exercise in making the difference between words or phrases that sound the same. You probably know some of the common homophones like no/know new/knew night/knight write/right, but some of the ones here are much more difficult to guess, especially where there is confusion because of unpronounced (dropped)letter H's.

Here is a rough transcript, I don't have much patience for this kind of thing so it doesn't include every word, but gives you an idea of how the two men misunderstand each other.

Customer : Fork handles

Shopkeeper : Four candles… there you are – four candles

Customer : No fork handles

Shopkeeper : Well, there you are, four candles

Customer : No fork handles, handles for forks
Er, got any plugs ?

Shopkeeper : Plugs ? what kind of plugs ?

Customer : Rubber ones for bathrooms

Shopkeeper : What size ?

Customer : Thirteen amp.

Shopkeeper : Electric plugs, that’s electric bathroom plugs you call them

Customer : Saw tips ?

Shopkeeper : Sore tips ? what do you want – ointment or something like that ?

Customer : No saw tips for covering the saws, tips

Shopkeeper : Oh, we havent’ got any, they’re coming in

Customer : Got any O’s ?

Shopkeeper : Hoes ?

Customer : No, O’s.

Shopkeeper : Hose ? I thought you meant hoes. Hose…

Customer : No O’s

Shopkeeper : ‘ose ? Oh you mean pantyhose.. pantyhose

Customer : No O’s – O’s for the gate – « mon repose » O’s – letter O’s

Shopkeeper : Letter O’s. How many do you want ?

Customer : Two.

Shopkeeper : Alright… Yeh, Next ?

Customer : Got any Peas ?

Shopkeeper : For gawd’s sake, why didn’t you bleeding tell me that when I was up the stairs. ..(grumbles)
How many do you want ?

Customer : No, tins of peas, three tins of peas

Shopkeeper : You’re having me on, aren’t you ? you’re having me on

Customer : No I’m not
Pumps

Shopkeeper : Pumps, hand pumps, foot pumps ? come on…

Customer : Foot pumps

Shopkeeper : Foot pumps (mumbles about tidying up)

Customer : No pumps for your feet brown pumps size nine

Shopkeeper : You are having me on you are definitely having me on

Customer : I’m not …Washers

Shopkeeper : What windscreen washers car washers dish washers floor washers back scrubbers lavatory cleaners floor washers

Customer : Half inch washers

Shopkeeper : Oh tap washers , tap washers, look i’ve had about enough of this…